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Plain English
© Frontier Creations, Inc.

by Tom Densmore

CAST: Melvin and Howard (wearing a baseball cap)
SCENE: Melvin onstage praying.

MELVIN:  (PRAYING) Oh, gracious heavenly Father, I ask Thy holy blessings on my beloved sister, that Thee might act as the Great Physician and heal the illness within her frail physical form.

HOWARD: (ENTERS) Hi Melvin!  Ready for the game?

MELVIN: (SADLY) I guess so.

HOWARD: Is something wrong?

MELVIN: Well, I'm kinda worried about my little sister,  She's not feeling very good.

HOWARD: Is that what you were praying about?

MELVIN: That's what I was trying to pray about.  But I just can't seem to do it as well as some of the grown-ups at church.

HOWARD: I see.  Tell me something, Melvin.  Do you think God understands Spanish?

MELVIN: I'm sure he must.  He made Spanish people didn't he? (LAUGHS TO AUDIENCE)

HOWARD: Of course He did.  Do you think he understand French and German?

MELVIN: Yeah, He must know those too!

HOWARD:  And what about Swahili, and Tibetan, and Greek?

MELVIN:  Sure!  God knows every language.

HOWARD:  Then why don't you think he understands plain English?

MELVIN: (DOES DOUBLE TAKE) What?!

HOWARD:  When you were praying, it sounded like you were talking in another language.

MELVIN: But, I just thought that was how you were supposed to pray!

HOWARD:  Well, Jesus said that we should think of God as our father in heaven.    In fact, when He prayed, He called God "Abba", which means "daddy"!  Now you don't use all those big words when you talk to your daddy do you?

MELVIN:  No, I just talk to him like I am talking to you.

HOWARD:  Then that is how you should talk to God.  Now, what are you praying for?

MELVIN: I wanted God to make my sister to feel better.

HOWARD:  So why not just say, "Father, please make my sister feel better"?

MELVIN:  And God will like that?

HOWARD:  Sure.  God likes us as we really are -- not what we pretend to be.

MELVIN:  Great!  In that case, I've gotta run.

HOWARD:  But what about the game?

MELVIN:  I can't play now.  My Daddy and I have too much to talk about!   (MELVIN RUNS OUT)

HOWARD: (TO HEAVEN AS HE EXITS)  Father, please find me a second baseman.

 

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